The healing power of touch

"Then they brought little children to Him [Jesus], that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.' And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them."1

A Daily Encounter reader whom I will call Linda wrote: "As an unmarried incest survivor who is a Christian, I wondered if you might address the subject of 'touch deprivation' in an upcoming devotional. I find that, though I have had counseling and there has been tremendous growth and healing, I struggle desperately each day with being completely deprived of touch. I have been asking the Lord for many years now for someone to love me, so I can experience closeness, touch, and companionship. Would it be possible to address this issue?"

Many articles, both personal and scientific, all attest to the healing power of touch. Children who were deprived of sufficient loving touch often grow up to be somewhat cold and distant in relating to other people. Other children who were abused either physically or sexually can also have relational and emotional difficulties as adults. While they hunger for touch, touch can trigger their painful memories of past hurtful experiences and revive all those associated negative emotions.

As adults we still need the healing power of touch. If we don't get this need met in healthy ways, we can become physically ill, emotionally starved, and/or try to get the need for touch met in unhealthy ways such as in harmful sexual activities that only add to one's emotional deprivation and sense of loneliness.

So, how do people like Linda who is only one among thousands in this predicament get their needs for touch met?

First, people who have been hurt by harmful touch need to get into an effective recovery/therapy program to overcome their fear of touch and resolve the painful memories and emotions that are triggered by touch.

Second, rather than praying for a partner to love, pray that God will lead you to a healthy recovery program so you can be healed, for only healthy people find healthy love.

Third, a very effective way to get the need for touch met in a healthy way is through wholesome massage by a registered masseuse and/or masseur. This applies to both men and women. A half-hour massage can reduce stress, support your immune system, help you feel calmer, and meet your need for touch hunger. This is very non-threatening touch as there is nothing demanded back from you in return.

Fourth, if you are a woman, hug your sister, your mother, little children, and your friends. If you are a man (men need touch just as much as women), and don't feel comfortable yet in hugging other men, start touching your brother or friend on the arm, or patting him on the back. In time you will learn to be comfortable with a good bear hug from other men.

Fifth, a great place to give and receive healthy touch and hugs is in a healthy church. In Paul's day it was culturally acceptable (as it still is in some cultures) to greet one another with a holy kiss. Here in the West we, especially we men, don't find this culturally acceptable. So, to be culturally adaptable, let's put it this way, "Greet one another with a holy hug."

Remember, Jesus held the children and blessed them. He also touched sick people when he healed them. His indeed was a healing touch. And healing touch is something we all need.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that your Son Jesus always gave people in need a healing touch. Help me to find the healing touch that I need and become a healing 'toucher' to others—always touching and hugging to give love and not for any ulterior motive. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name. Amen."

Everything happens for a reason

by Patience Quaye on Saturday, May 9, 2009

 

Sometimes people come into your life
and you know right away that they were
meant to be there... to serve some
sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or
help figure out who you are or who you
want to become. You never know who
these people may be but when you look
eyes with them, you know that every
moment that you are with them, they
will affect your life in some profound
way. And sometimes things happen to
you at the time that may seem horrible,
painful and unfair, but in reflection
you realize that without overcoming
those obstacles you would have never
realized your potential, strength,
will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason!
Nothing happens by chance or by means
of good luck. Illness, injury, love,
lost moments of true greatness and sheer
stupidity all occur to test the limits
of your soul. Without these small
tests, life would be like a smoothly
paved, straight, flat road to nowhere,
safe and comfortable but dull and
utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life.
The successes and downfalls that you
experience can create who you are, and
the bad experiences can be learned
from.... In fact, they are probably the
most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you or
breaks your heart, forgive them because
they have helped you learn about trust
and the importance of being cautious
to whom you open your heart. If someone
loves you, love them back unconditionally
not only because they love you, but
also because they are teaching you to
love and open your heart and eyes to
little things.

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